Dear Delilah,

I don’t know what your problem is. You’ve really let yourself go. You’re itchy, flaky, and making me look bad! You’re supposed to be soft, curly, and shiny…But you’re dry and crunchy. You look like a bad wig. You smell weird! I can’t believe that after all we’ve been through, you have the nerve to walk around looking like that. Split ends hanging all out and dull as can be!

What am I saying? It must be my fault. Did I use a new product you didn’t like? Was it the Ecostyler or that random ‘Pudding’ my mother bought? Maybe I was in the sun too long. Maybe I over-shampoo’d. Do you want more coconut oil or water, or both? I’m sorry I have been busy and forgetful. You haven’t been moisturized with creme or covered at night…Not even a bit of water sprayed on you, poor thing!

I promise I’ll change, my dear! In fact, you need a good deep condition and detangle. Forget that party tonight! It’s all about you baby. I’ll make sure you’re trimmed and protected well, and I’ll never let you down again!

I love you,
Faye

*Delilah is the name I call my hair.

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